You know that time when you were a kid and you just wanted to grow up and do cool things that adults did... well, yah, what was thinking then?!? I'd give anything to go back to the ignorant bliss of childhood.
For all of you who never wanted to grow up, good for you.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The bathroom color...
More pictures to come on our renovated house... the house James says he didn't grow up in but he did... but here is the bathroom color.
Nightmare....or is it?
Last night I had some whacky dreams...not surprising since my life is a wee bit whacky as of late.
The one I remember from last night is checking my MIL diaper with a spatula. Sure enough it came out soiled and that is how I knew to change her diaper.
Whacky dream or useful tip? I don't know.
I told my MIL this morning about the dream and that I may just use a spatula to check her next diaper and she laughed out loud. My husband didn't find it as funny.
The one I remember from last night is checking my MIL diaper with a spatula. Sure enough it came out soiled and that is how I knew to change her diaper.
Whacky dream or useful tip? I don't know.
I told my MIL this morning about the dream and that I may just use a spatula to check her next diaper and she laughed out loud. My husband didn't find it as funny.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Varying degrees of tough days...
My life in the last week is a tale of varying degrees of really tough days. Today topped it all.
Jane came home a week ago this Tuesday. It has been the longest week of my life and yet the days fly by like no other. The amount of work it takes to care for an adult who needs total care in unthinkable. I knew by the second or third day that I couldn't do this full time. It took James a few days longer but we'll be looking to hire an agency to do some care taking. I understand now why people have to make the hard decision to place their loved ones into a nursing home. It is hard in every way. It is physically exhausting and emotionally draining. It is simply too much.
Today was the day that James came around finally to the fact that this was too much for me and for him. I've had to deal with all the gross stuff. The diaper changes, the glucose testing, etc. He is a wee bit squeamish to say the last.
We took a trip to Kaiser Baldwin Park (aka my own personal version of hell) to see a neurologist. It was a follow-up appointment and it was quick. There is nothing more they can do for Jane. She's on the strongest meds to prevent another stroke and the brain just has to decide what it wants to do from now on. The quickest gains are in the first three months and since we are well past that, we are faced with the reality that barring any miracles, Jane probably won't walk, talk or eat again. Let's hope that is not the case and that progress is still made.
The appointment ended in not too long and we are on our way back home. The skilled nursing facility helped us to find a great non-medical wheelchair transportation. We used them to get her back and forth because Jane can not transport. Jane is very uncomfortable in the wheelchair and can't tolerate it too long. She worked up to 2 hours 15 minutes with the physical therapist but James and I never saw her last that long. She was ready to get out of the chair halfway through the time and when we got home, it was way past due.
We got her wheel chair lined up with the hoyer lift and that is when things started to go wrong. All of the sudden Jane was going to through up. The first thing I found was a folded up sheet but James was looking for a cup of some sort and of course, she just threw up all over herself, the wheel chair and the floor. I started to clean her up a bit so that we could get her in bed. James got a little vomit on his hand (as he told me later) and said, "I'm going to faint" and subsequently fainted. He fell into the corner of the room and was out. So, I had my MIL in the wheelchair with vomit all over her and every thing around her and my husband passed out in the corner.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
It all happened so fast I don't know what I thought. I just went in action. I am the calm, cool and collected in an emergency situation but on the inside I am seriously going to burst into tears. I still reserve the right to do that tonight.
James finally awoke as I pooked and prodded him but then I commanded him to stay sitting down while I deal with his mom. He said he just passed out and was fine but all I needed was him to catch wind of the vomit and go down again. I commanded him firmly and he stayed.
So I lifted his mom up in the hoyer lift and put her into bed. That sounded easy but it isn't. At that time, the doorbell rang. Great. It turned out to be James' cousin Franklin which was a huge relief and comfort. He has been a constant through this all and is as much (if not more) concerned about James and I and how we are doing in this process. His timing couldn't have been more perfect as we needed a little company. James and he sat in the living room as I changed Jane and got her cleaned up.
Drama.
Tomorrow a social worker comes and I'll be on the phone to get us some help as well as looking for a job to pay for it. James told me to that I can go get a massage and have a day of shopping. I'll take it.
Jane came home a week ago this Tuesday. It has been the longest week of my life and yet the days fly by like no other. The amount of work it takes to care for an adult who needs total care in unthinkable. I knew by the second or third day that I couldn't do this full time. It took James a few days longer but we'll be looking to hire an agency to do some care taking. I understand now why people have to make the hard decision to place their loved ones into a nursing home. It is hard in every way. It is physically exhausting and emotionally draining. It is simply too much.
Today was the day that James came around finally to the fact that this was too much for me and for him. I've had to deal with all the gross stuff. The diaper changes, the glucose testing, etc. He is a wee bit squeamish to say the last.
We took a trip to Kaiser Baldwin Park (aka my own personal version of hell) to see a neurologist. It was a follow-up appointment and it was quick. There is nothing more they can do for Jane. She's on the strongest meds to prevent another stroke and the brain just has to decide what it wants to do from now on. The quickest gains are in the first three months and since we are well past that, we are faced with the reality that barring any miracles, Jane probably won't walk, talk or eat again. Let's hope that is not the case and that progress is still made.
The appointment ended in not too long and we are on our way back home. The skilled nursing facility helped us to find a great non-medical wheelchair transportation. We used them to get her back and forth because Jane can not transport. Jane is very uncomfortable in the wheelchair and can't tolerate it too long. She worked up to 2 hours 15 minutes with the physical therapist but James and I never saw her last that long. She was ready to get out of the chair halfway through the time and when we got home, it was way past due.
We got her wheel chair lined up with the hoyer lift and that is when things started to go wrong. All of the sudden Jane was going to through up. The first thing I found was a folded up sheet but James was looking for a cup of some sort and of course, she just threw up all over herself, the wheel chair and the floor. I started to clean her up a bit so that we could get her in bed. James got a little vomit on his hand (as he told me later) and said, "I'm going to faint" and subsequently fainted. He fell into the corner of the room and was out. So, I had my MIL in the wheelchair with vomit all over her and every thing around her and my husband passed out in the corner.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
It all happened so fast I don't know what I thought. I just went in action. I am the calm, cool and collected in an emergency situation but on the inside I am seriously going to burst into tears. I still reserve the right to do that tonight.
James finally awoke as I pooked and prodded him but then I commanded him to stay sitting down while I deal with his mom. He said he just passed out and was fine but all I needed was him to catch wind of the vomit and go down again. I commanded him firmly and he stayed.
So I lifted his mom up in the hoyer lift and put her into bed. That sounded easy but it isn't. At that time, the doorbell rang. Great. It turned out to be James' cousin Franklin which was a huge relief and comfort. He has been a constant through this all and is as much (if not more) concerned about James and I and how we are doing in this process. His timing couldn't have been more perfect as we needed a little company. James and he sat in the living room as I changed Jane and got her cleaned up.
Drama.
Tomorrow a social worker comes and I'll be on the phone to get us some help as well as looking for a job to pay for it. James told me to that I can go get a massage and have a day of shopping. I'll take it.
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