SWB Monday: muscle pull and 30 years

the desolation:
I pulled a muscle last Tuesday morning in a step aerobics class. I was eagerly doing my routine in the back of the class when suddenly I felt like someone punched my left calf or threw something at it. I looked behind to find nothing and then realized that that punch came internally. The thought that came into my head: Get out of gym. Call James. I nearly passed out two times limping to my car. I called him and cried. I was so scared. I made it to the doctor although had to have a medical assistant pick me up at my car because at that time I could no longer walk. James met me at the doctor. Motrin, Vicodin and Flexerall... lots of resting and icing and it turned from a ton of pain and no walking to the subtle limp and occasionaly burst of pain. I am not a good patient. I'm over it! Looking back, I realize how irrational I was... should have stayed at gym where surrounded by people and trainers... Nope, all I could think of was calling James. I never had that boy to call to come and be my hero. I'd take no muscle pull for sure but having him to depend on was something different and good for me.

the consolation:
I'm turning 30 on Friday! Yipee!! Granted for most of my 29th year, I dreaded the reality that I was going to turn 30 but now I really look forward to Friday marking another phase of life which is to come. I've often heard that your 20s are crap and most of it is spent figuring out who you are as a person via making stupid mistakes, etc. I'd have to agree with that. I'd say the last five years specifically have really been the hit bottom and crawl back up to a new and better way of being. Life isn't so black and white as I turn 30. I pick my battles. I don't get as easily angered or frustrated. I have an insatiable curiousity but am focused on only a few things that I feel like are my part in making a mark in this world and in the kingdom of God. I enjoy the simple things of life and appreciate the beauty that surrounds me. I'm not as quite in a hurry as I used to be. I'm less judgmental of people but maybe a little less optimistic as well and I've finally realized that I can't change anyone. I'm not as thin as I hoped to be but realize that eating right and exercising isn't all about being skinny. I don't talk as much as I used to and I'm more content to listen. I have more opinions and feel assured of what I want or don't want but feel less of a need to assert the majority of them. I was a door mat before but now I say no a lot more often. I've resigned my costumes of super woman and the messiah. I don't have to please everyone or anyone for that matter. I'll just be a marriage and family therapist and love on the family and friends God has given me. I'm okay with the fact that that's all I can handle and want to handle in life. So, happy birthday to me! Thank God for the last 30 years and here's to the next 30 years being the best ever...I hope!

three things thursday

1. I love TKB (turbo kick boxing). I've been twice this week and hope to go again tonight. I learned new coreography on Tuesday and had it nearly memorized on Wednesday night. I'm a nut.
2. I'm turning into a history nut. Never in a million years. I finally get why history is so important to the everyday folk. I've been so ignorant.
3. 15 days to my 30th birthday. Woo-hoo!

all these years

I didn't pay much attention in the obligatory history classes of my high school or college days. I used to think it just wasn't my thing and largely I don't think it is my thing but welcome the two church history classes I've had with Dr. Feldmeth and I think history is just delightful and most necessary. It's changed the way I've thought about faith and really just opened my eyes to see the power of a few decisions through the thoughts and actions of people continue to shape our lives today. It is fascinating.

The little tid bit that really isn't profound but one of those ignorances that is now disspelled in my head. Pilgrims were just a part of the population of people who came over to New England. They were a specific group of Puritans among other groups of Puritans. Pilgrims were seperatist congregationalist who settled at Plymouth. They took off from Plymouth, England and founded Plymouth, New England. Them be all the Pilgrims in America.

With the miraculous defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588, England picked up the notion that it was a chosen people much like the Old Testament people of Israel. There was no possible way they could have defeated the Spanish army and so it was only by the reality that there were a chosen people of God that they were saved. Fast foward to the Puritans coming to America and this notion came with them. The Puritans were a remnant of this new chosen people and thus America was founded with that type of idealism and notion of God's blessing. Politicians who weren't even religious used expessions of God's blessing on America, etc. I don't think much has changed in that regard. I don't think it was good then and I don't think it is good now. Okay, I'll stop. :) Anyway, love this history stuff. My worldview is opened and I realize how ignorant I've been.

knott's scary farm 2006

Knott's Scary Farm was a hoot! I had never been before which is kinda of unbelievable but for sure worth the wait. This is James and I at the "Pre-Scare" dinner.

The highlights:

• The monsters who are "sliders". They have knee and special gloves with metal on them. They hide in the corner and at the perfect time "slide" into the crowd to give a good scare. It was brilliant.
• Hearing other people scream.
• James and I were sitting on a bench taking it all in. James was checking his voice mail and I noticed that people were looking at us funny. I looked at James and noticed that above his head a monster was ready to scare him. It was at that point that James looked up and subsequently got scared out of his mind. The voice mail waited and for the rest of the evening James was always watching his back. I died laughing and even relating this event now is making me laugh out loud. Hee, hee!
• Walking into clouds of fog in the pitch black of the night and not knowing what the heck is in front of you!
• The artwork that went into some of the mazes. I stood behind James is every single one. He buffered the experience for me...thank goodness!! It was scary. The Asylum maze and the maze based upon the Grudge 2... scary, bloody and scary. The vampire maze was cool. It was different eras of vampires. Very cool. They also had a maze that reminded me of Tower of Terror at D-land. That was fun. I felt like a deer caught in headlights at the wonder of it all.
• The show called "The Hanging" which is basically a big spoof an all that has happened in pop culture with celebrities, politicians, etc. It was fun to reflect and realize how absurd our world is sometimes. It was great fun.
• Lastly, James complained of a nervous stomach and went to the bathroom and of course, I took opportunity as well. I finished and waited outside. I waited for awhile feeling sorry for the boyfriend whose belly was bothering him. Then in pops James through the entrance of the restuarant (where we'd stopped for our restroom break) looking winded. I was like, "What?" Well, that sweet man staged all that to try and win me this big (I mean BIG) stuffed puppy dog (I had mentioned to him how I wanted one and he said he was no good at those types of things) and one of the carnival type stands they had. He played four times and $10 later and even an offer to pay for the dog outright, he decided to come back to get me knowing I was probably starting to worry. The dog would have been fun but the effort he went to try to surprise me was the best of all. Sweet man.
  

All in all, it was great. We both felt like we were on the older side. There were lots and lots of young-ins. I think they are the scariest of all. :) Short skirts, tight tops and big attitudes! I can't wait for next year!

sleeping with bread monday: just plain scared

the good: Knott's Scary Farm was a FUN, FUN time. I felt like a kid again. I was wide-eyed as I took in the wonder and spook of the mazes, haunted rides and shows. I had never been before and it was good for the soul to enjoy the fun of the Halloween season as well as tune into the wonder that the kid in me needs very much. I am truly thankful for James who one, plans such fun things for us to enjoy together and two, helps the inner child in me have a good time (that's some good psychobabble for you.) :)

the not so good (but really is good): Saturday was help mom move her big stuff into storage day. We got it done (thanks to James and Uncle Stephen) and had a nice dinner at La Tapatia in downtown Escondido. It is sad. I am SOOOO HAPPY for my mom. I am really proud of her for doing what she wants to do with her life in moving to Ohio. I am beyond estatic and yet it is an end of an era for me. It is sad and I am grieving it too. Happy and sad. I am glad I am finally okay with experiencing mixed emotions and just being in them for awhile. I had tears well up behind my eyes. I know a big cry is coming on. I am so glad I am okay with the big crys now.