my blog concious didn't even have to remind me of my need to post. i am posting on my own free will. my blog concious will be very happy to hear of such growth in the blog-o-sphere.
this is the end of week 8 of my 10 week quarter. i have to make a push to get to the end with many a final (three to be exact that loom out there larger than life) and a huge paper (freud and his influence on the american church!). every quarter it seems like something short of a miracle to get it done. this too will be the same experience. but it will take a miracle rather large in size and really no life for the next three weekends. what's three weekends really. such a short amount of time.
i registered for classes for next quarter. i paid alot of money and when thinking about the loans that covered 3/4 of my tuition i realize i will be paying that much more for the classes for next quarter. it's a good thing i am excited beyond belief. psychopathology. psychopharmacology. marital therapy. clinical foundations. i've already bought the books. i am a nerd. but that's me. i'm always in the future. current moments usually escape me. i am sure in my psychopathology class i'll understand that about myself. i am sure in my psychopharmacology class i might discover a medication that will help. i am sure in my marital therapy class i'll realize how that might not be good for a marriage relationship. in clinical foundations, i can't use it as a "fake" role play because i would really be looking for answers from a fellow student who knows no more than i do which is really not a lot. anyway, my very own copy of the DSM is on its way to me. i think i will have to have someone hold it for me until i need it so i don't diagnose myself to insanity.
i've been reading (skimming really) this book called "on being a therapist". it basically is trying to scare the shit out of you and deter you from being a therapist. it's a refreshing book in the sense that it lays it out on the line. but really i can't read it word for word at least not right now. it's not stuff i don't already know about being in the helping profession. i learned a lot of those lessons in the school of hard knocks. the question, why am i signing up for that again? who knows. i think my optimism, idealism and hopefulness really should go away so that i can come to terms with the 10% of therapy that might see someone change. oh maybe my optimism is turning to pessimism as we speak. i shared with the class that if i didn't think i was expressly disobeying the will of God that i may reconsider. granted i don't hold much water for God having a specific will for anyone but this therapy road i know i have to go down... even if in the end i really do burn out in five years... and still have the remaining 5 or 15 to pay off the student loans. i have decided to scratch the itch. no regrets.
this is no longer a brief update. i think it's turned into self-therapy.
my mom bought a house in ohio this past week. she'll move after the holidays. beautiful house, almost two acres of land and really i think it cost $2. i'm happy for her. she's really come a long way in the last year. she's my inspiration. well she always has been. she's a rock. a rock that has been smoothed out by the hardships of life. but still a beautiful rock. i miss my mom. i can't wait to be with her for the christmas holiday.
emma is eating cheerios on her own. truly amazing. i miss that little girl too. she's yapping it up, crawling up a storm, and pulling herself up on everything. she is a joy to mom, dad, grammy, grandpa and grams. she's a delight.
james is amazing. we grow closer every day and sometimes that is via supporting each other through the hard stuff of life. it's weird how it happens that way but it does. he put on a magic show at my 30th birthday party. i smiled from ear to ear and poeople really enjoyed him. he made a paper rose float and then upon lighting it up it turned into a real rose. that's 25 red roses to date and a bunch of other flowers that i can't count. (i think i am bragging... yep, i am) gasp, aahs, and wows were heard all around. it was very fun and i was glad to show him off. we are both therapist of sorts. he is the "let me bring you amazement, joy and a chance to connect with laughter you need and child in you" therapist by way of his magic and entertainment. i'm the "let me give you a safe space to confront your pain, loss, etc. but also let me piss you off by challenging you to a better way of being" therapist. i think i'd like to be the magician therapist. he makes more an hour than i will. he makes people laugh. people instantly think good of him. i don't know that i'd make a horrible magician but i would always want to refer people to the best (read james) at making others laugh and be entertained. i'd put myself out of business. i think i might have to stick to my plan.
i think i might stop now. i think i obviously need to do this a bit more.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Monday, November 6, 2006
Friday, November 3, 2006
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
To my blog conscience
Dear Blog Conscience,
Hello. How are you? Thank you for my recent prodding. I have felt for quite sometime the need to blog and yet because of a recent surge of busyness have neglected such this very important obligation. Yet with your urging and frankly because I can't sleep a wink this evening, I am posting. Thank you every so much for your blogging encouragement. I was actually wondering why you hadn't prodded earlier. (Much laughter.)
Week 6 of my ten week quarter is about to come to a close. My slackerness is catching up with me and I've found myself scrambling to get things done. My weekends of fun and fanfare have come to an end. Well not entirely but I can no longer take the whole weekend for such frivolity. This is exacerbated by staring a new job this last week. I am now the Assistant to the Associate Provost (well the interim Associate Provost). I've been through much training for the last week and look forward to getting into the groove. I am wiped out by the end of the day. I am in class or working from 8-5 everyday. Must find room for studying! Yes, I am crazy with such a load. What is new and it's about high time I resume the hectic life I once was accustomed too. Anyway, the job is a great opportunity at some things I am already good at. It feels good to be a part of the working world again. The pay is good and much needed!! They work around my school schedule and it's right on campus. I feel very fortunate.
The boyfriend of now 3 months is great. We are great. I find myself more in love each day. Our friendship and communication continues to grow. We make each other laugh. We cry together. He's my study buddy and helps keep me on task and reminds me that school is number one. It is very cool. I feel very blessed to have him in my life. He had a show on my 30th birthday in which I attended and much to my surprise he brought me up on stage and had everyone sing me happy birthday and then gave me two dozen red roses. It was amazing. He comes by his charm honestly. He's great and makes me feel like a very special, beautiful and amazing girl. I like that I have my biggest fan in him. He's going to do a magic show at my birthday party this weekend. I requested it and I know all will enjoy but even if no one does expect me to be sitting right in front smiling from ear to ear. I can't get enough of him and really I can't get enough of the smiles and laughter he brings through his entertainment. It's magic, baby. No, really it is!
The 30th birthday was great. My sister joined me all the way from Ohio to help me celebrate! It was great. I had some great friends help my birthday weekend be a fabulous one! I feel officially welcomed to the 30's and happy to be there. I look forward to more celebrating this weekend.
Muscle pull I'd say is pretty healed. Overuse makes it a bit sore but I've been back to exercising and might even try the beloved TKB tomorrow.
Mom moved to Ohio and is doing good. She's looking into housing options and adjusting to life in the OH. I've booked my ticket for Christmas which I am thankful to mom for picking up the tab. I'll be spending Thanksgiving in the CA with James and his posse. I wish he was going with me for Christmas but with work being so bah-humbug he says he's bah-humbug too since we'll be spending it apart. Not to worry as we'll be ringing in the New Year together. I look forward to seeing the Emster in the OH as she'll be nearly 10 months old. She's a tyrant (the cutest, sweetest tyrant) as she pulls herself up on everything and scares the dog with the speed in which she can crawl after it.
Anyway, that is the update on me. Again, my regrets. I am going to try my hardest to get back into the blogging swing of things. Thanks for my prod, my blogging conscience. I think I might be seeing you around... this weekend!?
With my love and a bucket of blessings sent your way,
life girl
Hello. How are you? Thank you for my recent prodding. I have felt for quite sometime the need to blog and yet because of a recent surge of busyness have neglected such this very important obligation. Yet with your urging and frankly because I can't sleep a wink this evening, I am posting. Thank you every so much for your blogging encouragement. I was actually wondering why you hadn't prodded earlier. (Much laughter.)
Week 6 of my ten week quarter is about to come to a close. My slackerness is catching up with me and I've found myself scrambling to get things done. My weekends of fun and fanfare have come to an end. Well not entirely but I can no longer take the whole weekend for such frivolity. This is exacerbated by staring a new job this last week. I am now the Assistant to the Associate Provost (well the interim Associate Provost). I've been through much training for the last week and look forward to getting into the groove. I am wiped out by the end of the day. I am in class or working from 8-5 everyday. Must find room for studying! Yes, I am crazy with such a load. What is new and it's about high time I resume the hectic life I once was accustomed too. Anyway, the job is a great opportunity at some things I am already good at. It feels good to be a part of the working world again. The pay is good and much needed!! They work around my school schedule and it's right on campus. I feel very fortunate.
The boyfriend of now 3 months is great. We are great. I find myself more in love each day. Our friendship and communication continues to grow. We make each other laugh. We cry together. He's my study buddy and helps keep me on task and reminds me that school is number one. It is very cool. I feel very blessed to have him in my life. He had a show on my 30th birthday in which I attended and much to my surprise he brought me up on stage and had everyone sing me happy birthday and then gave me two dozen red roses. It was amazing. He comes by his charm honestly. He's great and makes me feel like a very special, beautiful and amazing girl. I like that I have my biggest fan in him. He's going to do a magic show at my birthday party this weekend. I requested it and I know all will enjoy but even if no one does expect me to be sitting right in front smiling from ear to ear. I can't get enough of him and really I can't get enough of the smiles and laughter he brings through his entertainment. It's magic, baby. No, really it is!
The 30th birthday was great. My sister joined me all the way from Ohio to help me celebrate! It was great. I had some great friends help my birthday weekend be a fabulous one! I feel officially welcomed to the 30's and happy to be there. I look forward to more celebrating this weekend.
Muscle pull I'd say is pretty healed. Overuse makes it a bit sore but I've been back to exercising and might even try the beloved TKB tomorrow.
Mom moved to Ohio and is doing good. She's looking into housing options and adjusting to life in the OH. I've booked my ticket for Christmas which I am thankful to mom for picking up the tab. I'll be spending Thanksgiving in the CA with James and his posse. I wish he was going with me for Christmas but with work being so bah-humbug he says he's bah-humbug too since we'll be spending it apart. Not to worry as we'll be ringing in the New Year together. I look forward to seeing the Emster in the OH as she'll be nearly 10 months old. She's a tyrant (the cutest, sweetest tyrant) as she pulls herself up on everything and scares the dog with the speed in which she can crawl after it.
Anyway, that is the update on me. Again, my regrets. I am going to try my hardest to get back into the blogging swing of things. Thanks for my prod, my blogging conscience. I think I might be seeing you around... this weekend!?
With my love and a bucket of blessings sent your way,
life girl
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