My nieces.. i love them so much.

I just got back on Saturday night from a week long trip to see my family in the OH.  It was a great trip filled with many hours of play with my nieces.  Pure bliss.  I love those little girls.  Here are some of the highlights:

Emma is 2 1/2 years old.  She is as bright and as cute as ever with all the attitude and defiance of authority that she genetically predisposed to being an O'Brien and a Druce.  She doesn't have a listening problem mind you.  She hears you just fine but proceeds otherwise and as she pleases.  My sisters constant battle is to nurture this trait while staying sane.  Not an easy feat but my sister does it with much grace, a good stern voice and many good "mom looks"...of which few of them work.  The ole pick up child and place in desired location is the name of the game which is greeted with not such a pleasant welcome by one such 2 1/2 year old.  Even I, the aunt who sees no wrong in her nieces, became a wee bit exasperated.  All is forgiven when Emma asks that "Aunt Zo-Zo" gives her a bath and when we had fun play times such as dump all the toys out on the floor, walk the baby and prepare many purses with things we need, swim in the froggie pool and many other countless type of play.  The girl is always on the go.  I identify with Emma in many ways none of which are stronger than identifying with her as the older sister.  The way she interacted with her younger sister Lilla ranged on a variety of levels.  From sitting on the little sister (personal favorite when I was about her age) or try to act like the little sister to make sure standing in family is secure.  Grammy Nana was always faithful to give "baby" Emma a bottle, wrap her in a blanket and rock her.  Emma also made she to regress into baby talk and crawling as well as suddenly not knowing how to crawl down the stairs and learning with her "little" sister Lilla how to do just that.  Emma would also be a little bit of a momma to her baby sister as well.  Mostly, Emma would just want to make sure she still had the same power as Lilla had and then toss Lilla around a bit for fun.  She'll have a good time with Lilla once Lilla (or YaYa as said by Emma) gets a bit older.  Seriously, the two words that melted my heart last week were "Aunt ZoZo".  Love it.

Lilla is 10 months old...going on 30!  Seriously.  This is Emma with a sprinkle of Dave's Insanity Sauce.  Bright, delightful and fun little girl who has a little of the Evil Knievel in her or as I called her "Kamakazi".  She lives life full throttle...all the time.  She is the most curious and busy little girl.  Emma is that too but Lilla just has this little sparkle in her eye that says "I'm trouble and I know it."  Yet she is the funniest, sweetest and most precious little thing ever.  I could hold her, squeeze her and give her kisses forever.  I love all the funny little faces she makes and just how stinking vivacious she is.  She is constantly following her big sister around.  She loves her big sister and just wants to be next to her anytime she can.  She is crawling a mile a minute to keep up with her sister.  Many times Emma acknowledges but other times Lilla just gets to the scene only to have to rechart her course in the next direction that Emma is moving.  I can't wait for Lilla to be able to really be where she wants to be in the right timing  and even to lead her big sister around for a change.  I thought this was so cute for Lilla to be so enamored with her sister but I also felt something tug at my heart.  I even tear up now thinking about it.  My wish for Lilla is to find her own path.  To be enamored with her older sister but also to be confident to strike out on her own.  I think she will just like my sister did.  My sister and Lilla both share that little twinkle that says I will make my own mark on the world...just you wait, big sister.

I didn't intend this post to dip into the deep and reflective, but flipping heck, I wish I could control these stinking emotions these days.  When I left Ohio this past Saturday, I burst out into tears (again!) when my best intentions were to stuff that it down until further notice.  I even verbalize that I was feeling sad earlier in the day to try to release it a bit.  No, totally burst into tears.  Crying in the car as my mom took me to the airport.  We said no words.  I think we were both feeling the same thing.  (Crap, I am doing it now too!)  We wish Ohio and Calfornia were somehow neighboring cities rather than flipping states on almost opposite ends of the coast.  Yet they aren't and a move to Ohio is a very future idea, all other present circumstances needing to be attended to.  And it just sucks.  I hate living far away from my family especially when times are tough and I need my sister and mom at times...and to love on those little nieces a bit more regularly would make all the difference in my world.