going green

After reading an article in no other than my People magazine, James and I decided to make a concentrated effort to go green in some areas of our life. The article talked about how many plastic bags (those you get a grocery stores and the like) end up not being recycled and then wind up in the ocean where whales think they are jellyfish, eat them and then get very sick. Other sea animals are adversely affected by them as well. I told James this and we decided to do our part in order to cut down the amount of plastic bags out there in the world. I had previously purchased a couple of bags from Target and today while at Target we purchase a few more.

The part that actually surprised us is that those reusable Target bags hold a lot of stuff cutting down the bags we are carting to the car and into our house by like a quarter. We decided that going green in this area was a win-win situation and that heck, we preferred using reusable bags.

All this time not only were our plastic bags harming the animals of our sea but they were also largely inefficient at carrying around our stuff! After emptying my Target reusable bags, I proceeded to hang them with the others I had previously bought right on the front door handle so we aren't forgetting them before our next trip to Target or wherever our shopping ways take us.

Take your stand people in not using plastic grocery bags!

Three week update

Dear friends and family,

Tomorrow marks three weeks since Jane suffered her stroke. Here's where we are at:

• Jane is in a skilled nursing facility (what James and I refer to as "snf"). We like the place very much. It's close to us and on the way to Jane's house so we can take care of that as well. It has been warm and welcoming.
  
• She has a great occupational therapist and speech therapist. The doctor that stops in weekly has been great too. Her care team gets together on a weekly basis to assess where she is at with the goals they have set for her. We are now beginning to form partnerships with these people with a meeting with the speech therapist on Tuesday to have her teach us how we can help her.
  
• The immediate goals are range of motion, swallowing and object identification. She has progressed well in those areas. Jane has to have an xray done to make sure she is swallowing her puree the right way and then we'll be in a process of gradually weaning her from the feeding tube and introducing soft foods. Big accomplishment! In a test to distinguish objects, she scored a 7 out of 8. Jane still isn't able to talk. She nods yes but doesn't yet nod no. Sometimes we know she is alert, aware and understanding and sometimes we aren't quite sure. She gives smile and then sometimes seems to be really sad. Yet all in all it is all good and both therapists are very happy with her progress.
• We have no idea what all lies ahead and we have to take it day by day. We are anxious about many things but trying to take one day at a time, relaying on friends and family for support and basically, surviving. It hasn't been easy for any of us. We all (Jane, James and me!) have our bad days and our good days. As a couple too, we have our bad days and our good days. We are gradually moving from survival and crisis mode to somewhere between there and a "new normal". James has returned back to work and I'm plugging away at school, practicum, graduation and job hunting

That's it for now! Thank you for all your words of encouragements, meals, gift cards, etc. The outpouring of love and support has truly been a blessing and humbling. We couldn't have survived the last three weeks without you and glad to have you as we look to the days and weeks ahead.

Insomnia and an update

Sleep hasn't come easily to me these past couple of days. Last night I woke up at 1:30am and then didn't get back to sleep until 5am. Needless to say a lot on my mind and heart...

My favorite shows as a result of insomnia is Shear Genuis, Top Chef and Keeping up with the Kardashians. In the process of watching such intellectually stimulating TV, I've also started to record Step It Up and Dance. I'm open to other suggestions. I could try to grade some papers, write a paper or catch up on reading but somehow the insomnia is mind numbing and hasn't yet sparked the motivational bug I so need get going.

James' mother is now at a skilled nursing facility. Nothing much has changed. She is awake a bit more but we are still not quite sure how much she is aware of what is going on or has the ability to process anything let alone language, etc. She still has an IV and feeding tube and the speech therapist feels it is still unsafe to try to see if she can swallow since she isn't 100% able to follow commands because of this unawareness. We spent the weekend decorating her room at the skilled nursing facility. James watched a movie while I worked on homework, etc. The future is so unknown which presents itself with a host of questions we feel anxious to answer. It is hard on James, on us as a couple of and on me for a host of various reasons. It is tough. We do like the skilled nursing facility, the family of her roommate, the doctors and nurses. We were blessed to receive this placement for Jane.

We've received many blessings, support, care and concern through all of this. My MFT cohort has set up dinner for us for every day for two weeks to help us out. This has been such a huge blessing and a help. It is one less thing we have to think about in a day. We also received a very generous gift card to a grocery store today in the mail. I mean very generous. What a great help. We've received cards, monetary help and offers of help beyond what one could ever contain. It has been quite overwhelming and yet such a life saver during this time. I love community and my commitment to it has grown in the past two weeks.

Tonight does mark two weeks since James found his mom after she had suffered her stroke. I really can't believe it and yet in many ways I feel like it hasn't sunk in how much life has changed and that it will be forever changed. I can't even begin to imagine all the pain, sadness, despair and hurt that my husband is feeling. I can empathize but really have no idea what it feels like. I am proud to have a husband who hasn't escaped any of his thoughts or feelings but has risen to the occasion to care for him mom and has looked pain in the face and taken it on. He is a better person than me in this and so many other ways.

it's the little things

I've started to note the simple things that have brought me joy in the past trying week:

1. A birdie (named my mother) inquired about the details related to the possibility of an iPhone for my graduating future. It's a material thing but something I've wanted for a long time and gives me a reward at the end of this long journey called Spring 2008 (well besides two diplomas).
2. My sister and mom booked a flight to come for my graduation.
3. My husband gave me a thank you card to thank me for all that I've done to help him and his mom in the past week. Many tears flowed...
4. James and I had sushi today. I love sushi and it was nice to enjoy a favorite meal and feel up to wanting to eat it.
5. My therapist teared up in my retelling of the events of this past week and then gave me a hug at the end of our session. I'm glad to have such a great therapist.
6. We are loved by our friends and family and their support is an active thing.
7. Last but not least, Jane is here with us.

That is it for now...

things you do when you are vegging out

I bought a bottle of brandy for the fondue Valentine's Day 2008 and wondered a few nights ago what you could do with brandy besides just drink it on its own (cause that stuff is stinking strong!). I found a drink called "Between the Sheets" while googling and it was pretty yummy. So, for what it is worth:

1 oz. triple sec
1 oz. brandy
1 oz. light rum
1 oz. lime juice.

Shake with some ice and pour it over some ice for a nice way to unwind.

the roller coaster

Today wasn't a good day. It wasn't necessarily bad it just wasn't progress. James' mom spent most of the day asleep. She did have a procedure done in which she was sedated and they gave her some morphine for pain last night. It was probably that she was zonked but hard for James not to see progress today. She also was pretty congested and that was new as well. We think she might be discharged to a skilled nursing facility tomorrow or Thursday. James seems to be overall doing better in the midst of this. He is eating more and actually watched a TV show with me for the first time since this all started.

We'll see what tomorrow holds...

What a difference a week makes...

It was a week ago today that my mother-in-law suffered a massive stroke. I can't even begin to recollect the many hours spent in the hospital and the gamut of emotions we've journeyed through in the past seven long days.

Today the doctor got to witness the benefits of the prayers you've all prayed on behalf of Jane. He said that her improvement was major. She is more alert and active as each day passes. We still have a long way to go but we are finally headed in the right direction. She is able to stay awake longer and beginning to follow commands consistently and for the doctor and nurses as well as James. She still fights all the tubes and we're not sure she fully understands what is going on but we'll take what God has been gracious to give. She is having a procedure tomorrow to get another look at her heart so we can understand the origination of the stroke and if there is any of the condition that still exists. Then if she stabilizes (blood pressure has been hard to control) and becomes more compliant (can't pull out tubes, etc.) , we should be on our way to a skilled nursing facility with physical and speech therapists that will aid in getting some of her faculties back. Anyway, that is a long road but a road that is better than what is was looking like just a matter of days ago. I haven't been able to be at the hospital with James today but I know he is encouraged when I hear a slightly relieved tone in his voice and more so he tells me he is about to dive into a full meal of a sandwich and fries. That makes a wife happy.

Continue to pray for healing for Jane and for James and I as we navigate a territory we have no idea how to handle. We are eternally thankful for those who have shared stories, sat with us, prayed with us and have been a resource to us. "Thank you" doesn't seem enough.